Annoying the cullens:
Jasper:
Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.                                    
Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.
Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.

Alice:
Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.
Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget
When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”
When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.
Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.
Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.

Emmett:
Inquires as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male
Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that Jeep.
Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles.
When he denies the above two claims, respond with “That’s not what Rosalie saaaaaid!”

Rosalie:
Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.

Edward:
Ask how Tanya is.
End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

Bella:
Ask about Mike.
Ask about Eric.
Ask about Jacob.
Ask about Edward.
After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.

Carlisle:
Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.
Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France
Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”

Esme:
Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.
Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.
Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.


 

Twilight quotes:

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb - Edward Cullen

Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything. - Edward Cullen

“Fall down again, Bella?”
“No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face. - Bella Swan
                                                                                     Emmet Cullen
Alice:”I’ll play you for it. Rock, Paper, Scissors.”
Edward:”Why don’t you just tell me who wins?”
Alice:”I do. Excellent.” - Alice Brandon/Cullen & Edward Masen/Cullen

“What if I’m not the superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?” - Edward Cullen

Of all the things that could frighten you, you worry about my driving? - Edward Cullen

“I don’t care who’s a vampire and who’s a werewolf. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.” - Bella Swan
                                                                                                                              
Stupid, shiny Volvo owner. - Bella Swan

It sounded as if you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share. - Alice Cullen

“Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death,
sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…”
- Edward Cullen

Kryptonite doesn’t bother me, either. - Edward Cullen

Forbidden to remember, terified to forget - Bella Swan